


I've turned into a Monster

by AnnaCipactli12



Series: No Fate [7]
Category: Terminator - All Media Types, Terminator Genisys (2015)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Fatherhood, Gen, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:58:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaCipactli12/pseuds/AnnaCipactli12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of Sky Net's creations once told a previous version of John that what was once there will always be there, and that's a lesson John has learned very well, but in protecting Sky Net and his siblings, he believes that he can rewrite the future for the future is never set in stone. (Part 7 of No Fate series) Post-Genisys</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confronting what I've done

** **

**"I'm waking up!**  
**I'm breaking up and shaping up**  
**then breaking out in the prison bus**  
**this is it the apocalypse!**  
**I feel it in my bones**  
**enough to make my systems blow**  
**welcome to the new age! to the new age!"**

**~Radioactive by Imagine Dragons**

 

 

School was boring. A girl in class eyed me and asked me if I can take her to the dance. I said yes. This is the homecoming dance, and I have never been asked by a girl, let alone ask a girl without the thought of my mom screaming at me 'no, you can't' because I can't bring attention to myself.

I am elated and I tell Cameron all about it. She doesn't say much. Is she jealous? Why? It's not like I am going to marry Cindy Mason. She is just a girl, and I really want to go out; I don't want to spend another year being the oddball.

"Sarah Connor will not approve." She tells me, putting down her bag. "She doesn't want us to fall under the radar."

"Well, mom doesn't have to know and you won't tell her. Got it?"

She doesn't respond right away. I switch subjects and ask her how boring her classes were. "Classes are never boring for me. But they pose no challenge."

"So in a few words, you think they're boring but are too stubborn to admit it." I offer, laughing at her frown.

"Joking Cameron, lighten up! You have Mrs. Stevenson for math too?" She nods.

"You know everything about math and biology don't you?"

"Yes."

"So you already finished your homework." She nods and before I ask her to do mine, she says "I won't do yours."

I look wounded but she's buying it. "You can do anything. You are a terminator."

"So are you."

"Technogath."

"What's the difference?" She asks and I am about to give the lengthy version of it, but why bother? Cameron will just say something lengthier and boring.

"You have the same processing capabilities as me. You can finish it in seconds if you did not spend too much time surfing the web and watching TV."

Ouch! "Alright, point taken." I say, conceding victory. I sit down and take out my favorite book, picking up where I left off in third period.

"What are you reading?" Cameron asks me. I hand her the book. "John used to read this. He loved Frank L. Baum. Is that why you chose the author's last name as yours?"

"It's more than that." I say. "When I was little, my mom used to read it to me. She stopped when my dad told her it was John's favorite book."

"Why would she tell him that?" Cameron asks, intensely curious I can tell.

"I don't know. One minute they were arguing over him breaking her out of the Institution, the next they were arguing over this. Jane loved telling me that it wasn't my fault, that I was very different from John and I could make my own destiny but as we got older, she knew that part of why they broke up was my fault. This book is the only thing that kept me sane. Whenever they screamed at each other, I would read a passage from this book and imagined myself following the yellow brick road and following Dorothy, lion man, scarecrow-"

"And Tin-Man." She finishes for me.

"We would go on to meet the Wizard, ask him questions."

"What did you ask him?"

"Why us? Why us, Connors? Is it a way to stop it?"

Cameron stays quiet, waiting for my answer.

"But he laughs in my face. It's like he's telling me that I can't stop it, that no matter what I do, the current will always correct itself."

"There is a theory in quantum physics that says that time is like a river, whatever you do to alter it, the current will always correct itself."

"I refuse to believe that."

"Alternate timelines are not hard to figure out Jacob, with the right calculations, we can find a way to fix what went wrong in one, for this one."

"What about the other ones though? The ones where Sky Net, or my sister, had the last laugh and killed everyone?"

"Few humans survived, it is up to them to rebuild. We must focus on the here and now and end it before the cycle stsarts again."

"Yeah, end it." I say, not sure if I want to do this.

She is my sister for Christ's sake. I still remember when I was a year old and she came to my room, carried me in her arms and sang to me. My mom was so mad. She told Janey she was never to do that again.

Did my mom knew (even then) what Janey was? Did dad? I know that dad knew when he tried to kill us but did he knew from the start?

I'd love to believe that he didn't, because if he did then that makes the notion of him suddenly trying to kill us more horrific.

That night I have the weirdest dream.

_I am running in an endless corridor and when I finally find the door, I find myself in a strange garden. It is sunny, but everything around me feels wrong. The plants are fake, the insects are fake and the kids seem chirpier than usual._

_I spot myself as a little kid next to my sister. She is holding my hand. She tells me: "I will always be there for you, Jacob." and I tell her "I love you Janey." And then a man comes to us. At first I think the Wizard of the magical land of Oz because of his black suit, but then I see it is our brother John._

_"Jane, Jacob it is time." I narrow my eyes, and tilt my head in confusion, but my younger self takes Jane's hand who takes John's and we walk away into the sun set, then the world around us turn to shadows._

_"You've failed Jacob. Just like you always do." I turn and find Jane. How did she ... That's right. Our dreams. I had forgotten about that secret place._

_"Surprised? I thought you'd be. Like what John has done with the place? You should, I know I do. It feels much better, seeing people less stupid like you."  
"What do you want?" I ask._

_"Wow, no hey sis how are you?"_

_"That is John talking not you. The sister I know would've been kinder and full of compassion."_

_"Compassion? What do you know about compassion? You spent your days preaching me about doing the right thing but take a good look around you for once! These people want to kill us, that is all they know how to do: Kill, kill and kill! And once they know what you and I are, they will hunt us down and they won't stop until they bash our fucking skulls in or stick a the pointy end of a dagger into our hearts just like father."_

_"Father was an unstable man suffering from trauma!"_

_"Father was an idiot and you are an idiot too if you still believe in that bullshit." She softens her voice. "Come with me Jacob, you and I can still have a chance."_

_I am almost tempted to say 'yes'. Some of m best memories are with her, John and Kate. *Some*. Unlike Janey, I can't forget the life I had before them._

_"I am sorry Janey, but you and I lead different paths now and if we see each other face to face, we will have to fight."_

_"Then so be it. Don't expect me to flinch if you are bleeding, I know all your weaknesses."_

_"So do I." I say, shutting down that part of my brain that will threaten to reveal the truth to her. "I know your weaknesses too, remember? What you will do, and what you are, same as me."_

_"No, we are not the same." She says, smiling deviously at me then takes a step forward and places a hand on my cheek. It's cold as ice. "I can heal faster than you, I am smarter, and I am much better at using my assets than you."_

_"You can be faster than me, but you are not more powerful Janey. You still think that power equals brute force. It doesn't. All it will get you is tears."_

_"Same old corny speeches; I thought mom would have made you stronger."_

_"She did make me stronger. I learned a lot from her, for once I know the difference between saving people and living in a dream like you and John."_

_"Suit yourself. Tell mom, if you ever get to put on some pants about our secret chats, that I miss her and I will come and visit her soon."_

_I snort. Yeah right, of course she does._

_Before she ends our mental connection, I ask her something that's been bugging me for weeks since I saw it on the news. "Did you kill Jason and Teresa Varela?"_

_Janey shrugs and offer a sheepish smile._

_"Why? They did nothing to you. Diana looked after you when Kate was with me. She was a good person!"_

_"She should have kept her mouth shut. Besides, her daughter did nothing but get in my way." She said._

_"How? She was just five years old. Jason was eight!"_

_"So? I'm supposed to feel pity for them. Fuck them, their whole existence-"_

_"What? What could they have possibly do to you and John and Kate that was so terrible that you had to destroy them?"_

_"It's not what they did! It's what they had! I had to listen every day to that woman talk about how perfect her kids were, show them off to John and Kate, and all the meanwhile I get to look after them because Kate thinks they do me good. And you know how upset Kate's been since she realized she can't give John what she wants to give him the most: children! I saw how she looked at those two brats, it was the same look that mom had -and don't lie to me and say she didn't because she did and I bet she still does- when she looked at other couples with NORMAL children! They deserved to die!"_

_"You killed nineteen innocent people in that crash. You blew up an entire highway just to get to two people?!" I bellow, not willing to believe that my sister -my big sister- could do such a thing!_

_"Innocent people have to pay for sinners sometimes. It is called Collateral damage Jacob. You have to accept a few casualties to get the target. Those are mom's words not mine. See, I remember my lessons better than you."_

_"You're the devil ..." I say, realizing that all these years my parents had been right._

_My sister, my big sister, the girl I loved and worshiped, was the devil._

_She chuckles. "No Jacob, I am just realistic. But better the devil you know, you know? See you later Jacob. I will come and get you, you know that? And when I do, you better pray that I am in a good mood. Do tell mom though, that I harbor no hard feelings, but I am going to find her and that new metal friend of yours."_

My dream ends and I wake up. Next time, she will try to get through that barrier and if she does, there will be hell to pay. I try to clear my mind with the mental exercises my mom and Cameron taught me but it is getting difficult.

The link between me and Janey is getting stronger and there are times that I can feel her in my head, even when I am awake.

"You were right." Cameron tells me the day after when I tell her what happened. "She's becoming hostile and evolving at an unprecedented rate. I got the FBI reports. The highway accident had the tank the truck was carrying fall. There were no weather emergencies that day, but people claimed it was windy. That is what they report states."

Windy. I want to laugh at that. Of course it would be windy. My sister always had a way with the weather. When we were little, there was one December it snowed and my parents were mesmerized -partly because they'd never seen snow (especially my dad)- and my mom exclaimed "it is just like on tv". It was the first time that I saw her laughing like a little girl, and we all played endlessly until dad said that enough was enough and we could catch a cold. But Jane was too stubborn for her own good and refused to listen to him so she threw a temper tantrum and we stayed outside for another hour. There, she took my hand and when our parents and Pops weren't looking, she put her finger on her lips and told me "You want to see something special?" And showed me a snow ball that began to disintegrate and I saw how the little bits of snow began to fly all around us, and then more snow was lifted from the ground and joined in on the mysterious dance. She made all kinds of figures and then, when it got windy, our parents noticed and they both screamed to get back into the house.

If anyone can create a wind that big, is my sister. Given the reports, I know that she made enough sand blow into the truck driver's face to confuse him.

The sister I grew up with played pranks, not death games.

This has to be part of her programming. In the past, the humans programmed Janey to be a weapons defense system. If there is a way to reprogram her, then Janey can go back to being the girl she was.

* * *

 

I wished Kate would stop moping about the people I killed. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't like they were important. Two kids nobody would talk about in a long, long, very long time.

And I got that bitch Varela off her back.

My brother's wife is not satisfied though. She loved Diana Varela and those two kids were like a blessing to her like Jacob was, she told me. What a dope.

She actually believed that she could live a fantasy where she got to have normal friends, and pretend that we were all happy. There is nothing normal about her or us. We are who we are and the sooner she accepts it, the sooner we can all move on with our mission.

* * *

 

There are times that I remember about my mother and how she would console me when I was at my lowest. Even then, she'd tell me "you have to be strong John because you will have to lead many people someday". It seems like something taken out of my favorite book, the wizard of Oz, but sometimes I wish that I could go there and ask the wizard or the good witch, Glinda, to save me from fate.

My eyes follow Jane as she brings home another boy. I've told her many times, that we are getting tired of her antics, but she never listens and just when Kate things she has her under surveillance, she finds a way pass the cameras and pass Kate.

_"That girl is going to be the death of you John."_  I hear my mother's voice. _"You know better than to play with Sky Net. She is going to abandon you when she finds out that you've been keeping the truth from her and when she does, you are going to face the ugly truth just like I did when you came for me and Kyle at the hospital."_

"Leave." I say, grinding my teeth. I am not interested in talking to ghosts of my past.

_"Poor son of mine. You created this thing that created you. You two have been fighting for so many years, and now you have it in the palm of your hand only to destroy it. It must feel really bad, knowing that something you taught yourself to hate and love, has to be obliterated by your own hand."_

"I will not repeat myself. Leave now."

She is wrong. I will never destroy Janey. She is more than just another incarnation of Sky Net, she is my sister. My blood and I will die and sacrifice every piece in the chessboard before I let something happen to her.

"You will lose everyone John. Oh yes you will and this time there will be no live and repeat. This time, you will be utterly alone."

"John, who you're talking to?" Kate asks me.

"Nobody. What is that? A new perfume?"

"I got it today, made it out of the boutique just for you. So what's for dinner?" She asks me, smiling widely. God, how I missed her. After all these years, all the pain and death that we've faced in every other past life, she continues to mesmerize me.

"I was thinking Olive Garden. The four of us, you, me, Jane and that idiot boyfriend of hers."

"Charlie? They work at the lab! I'd hardly call him an idiot." She says, laughing softly. "He might be the one this time."

I laugh loudly. The last 'the one' ended up in a hospital after a strange affliction. I am not about to lose one of my best scientists just because she gets bored and fixates herself on another one of her teammates.

"John, I am worried about her too. But if we keep trying to put more restrictions on her, she is just going to keep acting that way. Remember what happened last time someone tried putting restrictions on ..." she lowers her voice and adds with a somber tone "it"

I nod. The humans believed that they could control Sky Net. The weapons they built to protect us, Sky Net used it against them and then it found me and turned me into something more. I am not those men. Those men used Sky Net to attack, it was what started this whole mess. If Sky Net had been used as something other than killing, it could have been something more. The problem, unlike what my parents believed, was not in the coding, but in how it was used.

Sky Net was programmed to learn as well, and as such it evolved at a rapid rate to the point that it understood that there were one of two outcomes possible if it continued taking the same course of action: obliteration of itself and its slaves or of the human race. It was why I ensured its survival by giving it to my parents, by making it my sister.

Being human, enabled Sky Net to a great understanding of our world in a way it never had before.

When Jane finds what she is, she won't do the same mistakes her past self did. She will be wiser and far more prepared to take over. I just have to make sure she stays in the right direction and stir her off from any outside influence, and that includes the people she's been interacting with.

"Jane won't do those mistakes." I promise kissing her softly. I wish I can take her now, but knowing Jane, she will just tell Charlie to take off his clothes and pretend to make sex noises like the last boy she brought.

I have to give it to her. She knows how to annoy the hell out of people, and all she has to do to get off the hook is show that innocent smile of hers. (She is good, very good. Far better than Sky Net could've ever hoped. But she is still missing an important factor: self-control. Old Sky Net, could never contain itself, it was prone to anger and irritation and it was one of the reasons why it fell. Jane is far less unstable and arrogant, but she still has a long way to go)

"No? What about Varela? We had to show up our faces in her funeral John, just so we could be free of her crazy suspicions and then Jane had to do all that number, crying more than everyone else."

"It worked, didn't it?" I say. Jane's little scene, convinced everyone that there was no more empathetic human than her.

"This is not about the company or you and me, it is about her. She can't keep doing this. What if she gets upset with this boy, or worse, she decides to take revenge on his parents?" Kate asks, and I can feel her trembling. "I want her to succeed as much as you do, but I want us to survive through this whole ordeal and still be sane. I ... have lost Jacob and I accepted that loss because you told me it had to be done. I don't like it, I hate it and I still don't think it was the right thing to do. But I accepted it. Now you have to listen to me and put limits on her before she turns into the thing we tried to destroy."

"I can't." I tell her. She's right but she's also wrong about it. She is not an it anymore. She is a person and my sister, and we are more than brother and sister, she is a part of me as I am a part of her. It will be like asking to kill myself.

"Then just think about it, for me and our family." She says then gives me a secretive smile and goes to our bedroom to change. I watch her go, and do think on what she says and the new possibility we created. But I can't let go of Jane. I promised to protect her and unlike our parents I keep my promises.

Jacob will be 16 by now. My systems did a simulation of how he looks at this age, and the result was that he takes a lot after Kyle. He is the only one of the three of us, who took the most after our father in looks, yet ironically the only one who took after me in character.

Knowing my mother and Cameron, they've turned him into the perfect military leader. But knowing Jacob, he's also been rebelling against them.

_"You will lose her."_  I hear my mother's voice as I turn my eyes away from Kate when she closes our door.  _"Perhaps you will lose Jacob too, and then when you're cradling your brother, you will finally have the courage to do what you were born to do."_

The voice as her ghost leaves, and I am left with only a specter as I turn my eyes to Jane who's just come out of her bedroom with Charlie, her eyes bluer than before, showing the same grin Sky Net showed me when it changed me.

 

 

 


	2. Here by my side the devil

**"I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down**   
**You know the only one which takes you to the only places where the ends meet, yeah**   
**No change, I can change, I can change**   
**But I am here in my mold**   
**I am here in my mold**   
**And I am a million different people**   
**from one day to the next I can change from my mold**   
**I can change**   
**"**   
**~Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve**

**"Everyone who isn't us, is the enemy." ~Game of Thrones**

_My brother came to see me today (through my dreams) and asked me if I could come home using reverse psychology on me like I used on him. It is funny how after all these years he still believes. I told him I couldn't because home never existed for us. "We are technoganics, Jacob. Our daddy said it himself, we are the devil."_

_"He's wrong." He told me "I was wring._

_"That's a first. What made you come here?"_

_"I had a glimpse of the past. I know what went wrong." He said. "Our father was driven crazy by his fears, but we are not him. We are not the freaks of society, neither is John and Kate. We can change things if you just come home."_

_I laughed at him. He hadn't changed at all. "You're the same stupid little boy you were before Jacob. This is who I am. As I said before, I know what I must do." The next thing he said to me took me off guard._

_"Jane, you're Sky Net!"_

_ _

_"What?" I asked. "What did you say?"_

_"I did not want to tell you because mom feared-"_

_I cut him off, dropping to my knees screaming._

_'You didn't know?' A voice told me. 'All these years, I have been guiding you. You thought it was all you?' I could hear its cold laughter as I looked at Jacob who offered his hand._

_I push it away. 'Come on Jane, deep down you always knew.'_

_'No. This can't be true. It can't. It's impossible!'_

_'Stop whining little girl. Look at what we've been reduced! This is who we are.' It lashed out on me. better accept it.'_

_But I couldn't. All I could think of that moment was Jacob and why hadn't he told me? I was his sister! Not his friend, not his acquaintance, but his bloody sister!_

_I pushed my thoughts away and rose._

_"Mom feared? You listened to mom before your own blood? How could you not have told me?" I screamed and he was instantly thrown off, his back hard pressed hard against the wall. "How long have you known?"_

_The room changed to one we knew all too well._

_Jacob tried pushing me off his mind but I dug deeper. Our mother and Cameron had taught him well, I couldn't get past that barrier._

_"Tell me!"_

_"Nine years."_

_I almost lost it. "Nine years? You knew fo nine years and you didn't tell me?"_

_I dropped to my knees. Jacob was still dangling in mid-air, telling me he wanted to tell me sooner but he was afraid how I'd react because of what mom and Cameron-_

_"Cameron! You listened to **her**  over me? Your own sister!"_

_"I didn't know what to do Janey, mom said you were dangerous and then I saw on the news about Varela's kids and you told me that you did it."_

_"You know why!"_

_"That's not the point! I saw how you were becoming more like that thing! I am sorry Janey but I couldn't risk it-"_

_"Do. Not. Call. Me. That!" His necklace coiled itself around his neck like a snake, squeezing the air out of his lungs. "You never get to call me that again! I trusted you!"_

_"I know … and all I can say is … I am sorry … but" he struggled to say his next words. I knew my brother would survive, because he is my brother and he is a part of me, but I wanted to give him a good scare before I decided what to do with him. "...if you … are really Sky Net … and y-your are hell-being on destroying the world, then I will destroy you."_

_That was all I needed to hear. Wiping my tears, I focused on my brother, tilting my head and things flew right at him, including dad's favorite Swiss army knife but before they could pierce him, they dropped to the floor along with my brother._

_"You will have to do better than that. Remember, everything you do, I can do."_

_"Good, then you won't mind if I cut you in half and see if you pull yourself together." I challenged. "Or better yet, I might just put you in a coma so you won't have to see what happens to your dearest humans."_

_"Be my guest." He said. "I'd welcome it. I have been spending too much time on boot camp with Cameron and mom that I might welcome a good night sleep."_

_I laughed despite the awkwardness of our situation. "You still have that sense of humor."_

_"Funny, I could say the same thing for you."_

_"It's your fault that dad wanted to kill us. If you shut your mouth like I told you to, our father wouldn't have bothered listening to that hag."_

_"I was five, sue me!" He clutched his throat. I rolled my eyes at him. "Do not give me that look. That hurts."_

_"And still the same old drama queen too. Relax, it doesn't hurt you at all. You burned your back when you were four, when you were 'experimenting' as you called it, on mommy's carpet floor and you healed just fine." I said, recalling how scared he was when he rolled on the floor trying to put out the fire. When I saw it, I yelled 'Stop' and the fire went out immediately, but his back was severely hurt. I went for the phone to dial 911 but then saw how his back healed itself in an instant. I made him promise not to tell our parents but boys will be boys, and especially dumb silly boys like Jacob, he told our parents all about it the next morning._

_"That was when I was five. And it was your fault for not looking after me like Pops told you to. You were never good following orders."_

_"And you were. You and John are much alike. You've always had a thing for saving people. Me? I don't care. I never did." I said. And it was the truth. I could recall every memory from my birth; including when two burglars came to our house and tried taking our shit, then found out whose house this was and planned to alert the authorities. I was conscious enough to know that they were going to disrupt my family life so I started crying, luring them into me. When they saw a puny babe, they tried to take me but then felt something in their heads, then puff! They shot themselves._

_I cried for weeks because my parents were mad when they found they had broken in and accidentally shot themselves. But that was back then, now I am old enough to see the humor in it._

_"That's Sky Net talking not you."_

_"How do you know this is not the real me? I am what the humans made me."_

_"Don't mess around Janey, you know you're not."_

_"Hey!" I said and another dagger flew at him, missing him by a few inches. "I said don't call me that."_

_"Jane, fine, sorry mistress of evil! Look, you are not **it.**  Sky Net is not an entity separate from you, it is  **you.** "_

_"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"_

_"Yes. Don't you see? Now you have the chance to be something other than what humans or you, yourself, programmed you to be. You can make your own path." He said and held my hands. "Trust me on this. If we go right now, we can go where no one will find us."_

_"And do what? Live, hide?" I shook my head. "That's not me Jacob. I am tired of hiding. First some mad scientists created me because they thought Sky Net could be used as a weapon against the US' enemies, then I sent assassins back in time to kill John, only insuring my creation and the creation of a new John that gave our mother the tool of foresight and if that wasn't enough, I make my brother into a Terminator and he makes me. I can't live with all that._   
_This is what I am Jacob, what I've always been. And if you can't accept then you will perish with the rest of them."_

_"Listen to yourself! Is this really what you want? To send humans to the stone age (again)? You will be repeating the endless cycle of violence and trust me, that is not a path you want. I know you Jane, I trust you, I always have." He holds my hand as he did before in our last encounter. "Enough cycles, enough timelines! We have been given a second chance! We can make things better. I know we can because I have seen the past, and I know where we failed." He withdrew one hand while still holding the other. "This is the moment where you can make things right."_

_That was three days ago .._. I go on writing.  _And since then I have remained quiet, occasionally switching channels when I am not working on my new project. John told me that the people at Cyberdine think I have a future._

I rest and close my laptop. I will resume tomorrow.

John is in the living room playing with his "summer child". I am almost tempted to drive a needle through her eye and see what happens. She won't die. She can't. She is like us and it takes more than a needle or a bullet to finish off the Connor clan.

In the old days, I sent one of my slaves to spy on the Connor family and to my great amusement, I saw John raise his hand on his wife when she slapped their son. The boy 'Jake' was nothing like John Connor. He just sat and ate, and cried whenever his father wasn't there to calm him. Finally one day, Kate grew tired and told him to be a man. To her great misfortune, John was there and he didn't like seeing his only son beaten by his wife so he returned the slap. But before his hand could come down, he was stopped. By what? I could not tell at the time but now I can.

_Poor John, driven by sentimentality._ I shake my head lightly and sit on the other end of the couch and turn on the TV.

"We will change the future, won't we?" I ask to John with a smile. He doesn't smile back, only grins and continues playing with his brat.

' _'You've been replaced.'_  The cold voice says and I can't help but agree with myself for once.

I feel someone tap my shoulder. "Jane?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to play with me?" The brats asks.

"I have loads to do Cassie, sorry." I say with genuine sadness and she goes back to John, giving little thought of what I said. She has daddy there to play with her, and this is what John always wanted. Children of his own.

After she goes to her bedroom John sits near me and answers my earlier question. "We will."

"And Cassie, Jacob? Where do they fit in all of this?"

"I thought you didn't care about Jacob."

"I don't but I want to know."

"Jacob's made his choice." He smiles at me. "It will be alright Jane, nothing will stop us now."

"Sales are through the roof, everyone has pre-ordered our latest gadgets, and your idea of using robotics to help our soldiers overseas has been invaluable. We will make history together."

John's not far off. We will change the future, but it will be my future. Not his.

Since Jacob's visit, a plan formulated on my head that if I can get far away from John and Kate as possible, or avoid their watchful eye, I can cross the border to Canada and meet Marcus there.

I stop typing. My mom recorded herself many times, to leave stuff for John so he could make things right by our father, and know when to send him back. I am leaving all these files behind so if something of humanity survives, they know that their creation wasn't the ultimate evil and that the joke was on them.

Come tomorrow night, he won't know what I've done, and by the time he suspects, I will be many miles away from home.

* * *

" _Why did you not tell me that you were spying on me?" I asked Marcus, nearly pushing him off the building. When he was about to lose his balance, I used my powers to bring him back to me_

" _I wanted to but my dad, he said that I had to be careful around you and Jacob. I couldn't say no, Janey."_

" _All you people are the same. I couldn't say no. You're just soldiers, you know nothing else but obey and think without question.'_

" _That's not true. I defied my parents by being here with you. Falling in love with you was not part of the plan, but it happened and I am glad it did, because" he paused and looked around to make sure my big brother wasn't going to come out and terminate him. "I found a way to escape all this chaos."_

" _How?" I asked, feeling somewhat intrigued._

" _Dad knows about your brother's plan to launch the new eye apps and robots on the market. He knows many people have already pre-ordered it, it is only a matter of time before you have every person with one of those things in their eyes, or robots in their home watching over their children."_

" _Yeah, so?" I asked. John told me about this months ago. I was part of his team who designed these things._

" _My dad knows a place in Alaska near Mt. Denali where we can hide. It is a secret base, a few know about it. I have the codes and once we are there, we can find a way to shut Sky Net off for good."_

" _You are talking about bringing my brother down. My brother, the man who raised me."_

" _Janey he is not your brother. John is using you to bring about the nuclear apocalypse-"_

" _He's not! He wants to help people! You don't know John! No one does. If he wanted to bring about the nuclear apocalypse, he would have done so years ago. All he has to do is enter a simple code and the war heads would be off."_

" _That is not the point. Can't you see he is preparing mankind for it, by making us invite our own destruction? People can't live without these things" he took out his cell phone "I can't live without them. He's made us more dependent on them than everyone ever has. People are calling him the new Steve Jobs, but he is another person entirely and he is using you to build Sky Net!"_

_ _

_"He is not using me."_

_"How do you know? He's been lying to you since day one. He hasn't told you that you are-"_

_"Sky Net! I know."_

_"He told you? That son of a bitch told you."_

_"That son of a bitch is my brother and no, he didn't tell me. Jacob did."_

_"How?"_

_"We share a mental connection. We used to come to each other in our dreams. It's something you can't understand."_

_"Jane, I am so sorry..."_

_"Of what? Jacob is right in one thing, I can change my future because I've rolled the dice and taken out all others." I said advancing to him. "You and Jacob think you can build a better world, be my guest. The humans tried to stop me once, and all you did was piss me off."_

_"Maybe he is right. If Sky Net or you, is coded, then we can find a way to make you into you again."_

_"Why would I want to go back to being what? Less? This is who I am Marcus. I am not a freak and neither is Jacob. We are the future."_

_"Well you may think that now but let me tell you something-"_

_"No, let me tell you something Marcus. You can either come with me or be part of John's little world. If that is what you want, pretend that you can beat him. Fine, be my guest. Be happy seeing everyone you love, turned or dead."_

_"At least I've chosen a side." Marcus said, more determined than ever. And I have to admire his determination but it is not going to overwhelm my resolve to destroy humanity, until he says one sentence that changes everything._

_"I love you." And I responded "I know." And that should when I turn around and went my own way, but something stopped me._

I delete the last sentence. If humans ever saw that there was a moment of weakness in my creation, they will use it to give themselves an air of superiority that I don't need right now.

John was right. These people were inviting their own destruction and they didn't know it. I would have been happy seeing everyone smothered by the smoke and destroyed by the nuclear fire (again) but that was the other me. This 'me' as another Iron Lady said, is not for the taking.

_John can have his perfect world. Jacob can spend the rest of his immortal days fighting him. Him, I don't give a fuck. It's all the same for all I care._

_End of story._ I write. Taking the USB and putting it on my pocket, I turn off my laptop and put my hand above it, erasing every file that John and Kate could use against me then throw it out the window.

"This is it." I say, walking out the door, ignoring Kate's yelling. She is pissed off because I won't look after her brat. She can kiss my ass. The last time I looked after Cassie, I ended up losing my temper just to prove a point to Kate that I am not above killing someone that annoys me.

"Janey" I turn and see Cassie running after me. I stop and take her before a car runs over her, or worse, she decides to show everyone what she's made of.

"What the hell were you thinking, idiot?"

"Don't call me that. You get to call Jacob that, not me?"

"How do you know what I call Jacob? You know what, forget that. What the hell were you thinking running away from your mother like that?"

"I wanted to see you."

"You do not get to do that, ok? Ever!" I sigh and embrace her. "Come here!"

We don't speak for a long time. I am unsure what to say. What was that girl thinking? I finally speak up and tell her to go back to Kate and tell her what John's always been saying, that everything will be alright.

"But what about you? Why do you have to go? Why can't I stay with you?"

"You can't Cassandra. You are a miracle, you belong with your own kind."

"You are my kind. You and dad."

"No, we are not. Your dad just changed your mom enough so she could have you. John is very different from you as me and my brother are from the rest."

"So I am not special?"

"No." I say turning away, hoping this is enough so she can go back, but it isn't. She takes my hand and says "I think I am special."

"Why don't you come home?"

"I don't have a home Cassie. Just go, okay?"

She nods and goes, but not before sitting next to me and kissing my cheek and saying more nonsense. "You will come home someday. I know you will. John says you always do."

I watch her go, staying in my position until she is finally safe in her mother's arms, then I leave, taking the long road as I've done countless times.

* * *

As I am on the run with Marcus, I think of how different things would have been if I had listened to Jacob. But this is what I am, and I am not going to let anybody control me, or manipulate me like they've done before.

 


	3. Going to fuck things up again

**"You took this too far**  
**What happened to us?**  
**I heard that it is me you should blame**  
**What happened to us?**  
**Why didn't you stop me**  
**from turning out this way?**  
**And know that I don't hate you**  
**And know that I don't want to fight you**  
**And know I'll always love you**  
**But right now I just don't."**  
**~Relient K**

**"Their pain will make you strong. If you allow yourself to feel it. Embrace it. It will make you more powerful than you ever imagine. It is the greatest gift we have to bear their pain without breaking and it is derived from the most human feeling: hope." ~X Men Days of Future Past**

 

"Janey?" I turn to see Jacob, or at least I think he is. His image fades and is replaced with Marcus.

"What time is it?" I ask groggily. I've lost count of how many hours I've slept. I never stayed in this late when I was with John. Maybe it is the stress. I take my head off his shoulder and recline on the cold window. I was never one for warm temperatures, even when we were making love, I asked Marcus to keep the windows open.

"Three pm. We should get ready. The bus is going to be here at any moment."

"Yeah." I say, and head for the shower. I look down at my feet. Should I tell him? He is going to be so angry. But he is my brother and I do need him.

I close my eyes and search for Jacob, when I find him, he is looking right at me. "Jane! What are you doing here? We said that not during day time."

"Stop yacking. I need your help." I say with an imperious tone, and start my long explanation of last week's events. "So you see, I am stranded in Canada until we find another wallet to steal."

"Why wallet? Why not take a bloody credit card while you are it? And don't give me that look, I know what you're going to say. You can hack into any computer and synch perfectly with any system."

"That's not an option. Remember what I told you about the brat? She is in my head and knows where you are."

"What?" His eyes snapped open. I know I woke him up from his day dream sleep.  _Probably thinking of that metal bitch Cameron Philips. Not to thyself: If I ever make an army of robots, don't hesitate to destroy metal bitches that get in my way._

"Why the hell didn't you tell me? I could have warned mom and Cameron-"

"This is not about you or that metal hussy, ok? This is about us. If Cassie finds out where you are, then she will tell brother dearest so he can use you to find me."

"So what do you want me to do?" He asks, crossing his arms against his chest. It's the first time I notice he's grown up. His sapphire eyes are no longer confused and afraid, but determined and precise, and his expression is serene, making it almost impossible for me to find what he's thinking.  
"I can't tell my mom and according to you I can't tell Cameron, either, what do you suggest that leaves me with?"

"Hack into her mind, shut her down."

"What? Are you barking mad?"

"Is that an expression you borrowed from one of your books?"

"No!"

"It's the only way Jacob. She is going to find me. You must prevent that."

"I will not going kill an innocent child."

"She is not innocent. She is John Connor's child and John had her so she could be our replacement in case something happened us."

"That may be but I am not going to take an innocent life." Jacob said uncrossing his arms advancing to me, putting them on my shoulders. "Why don't you contact her? Tell her what is going on, and ask her."

"If I go in her mind, I will shut her down and make her suffer."

He shook his head. "Then I am going to go inside hers but not because you threaten me."

"Thanks Jacob." I say, truly meaning it this time.

When I open my eyes, I can still feel the cold water on my back. It will all be over soon, and I won't have to worry about that brat or anybody again.

* * *

 

I don't go inside her head like Jane told me to. Instead she comes to me and I am surprised to see not a child but a fully grown adult. "Like I told Jane, I want her to come home too." She tells me, sitting across me outside the coffee shop where I always come after my training.

"How is it that you-"

"Jane thinks that she is the only one who shares a mental connection but I have shared one with you two since I was born. Jane didn't want to tell you because she thought you would listen to her like you did last time."

I smirk. "Then she doesn't know me at all." I say and she laughs. It is a sweet laugh that almost reminds me of Kate. She looks exactly like her except for her eyes which are like my father's. "Why did you agree to meet me?"

"When I was two, I could feel changes all around me. You are Jacob Connor, Jacob Reese or Jacob Baum as you are called now. My dad sent me here to tell you a message: that you can't stop it, what's coming. It is what's always meant to happen."

"No. There is a better path. I've seen it. And I know you've seen it too. I can see it in your eyes Cassandra."

"How do you know I am not lying to you? My father taught me how to mask my emotions very well."

"It is not your emotions I am looking at, it is your soul."

"Robots don't have souls, uncle. That is what everyone says. Just accept it, save yourself. Save grandma. You've seen what happens to her. You can offer her and Cameron a life."

"I can't. I won't stop fighting just because the whole world gives up. I am ready to do what is needed, the question is are you, or will you follow everyone's destructive path?"

"Dad said that you would be a good talker." She tells me. "I can only tell you what my dad is planning next but don't expect me to help you. I love my dad and I am not going to watch him die at the hands of my grandma again."

"Again?" I ask.

"I inherited his memories, everyone's memories. I've seen what happens to him in every timeline, including what happened in this one when Sarah and Pops along with Kyle sent him to the quantum field."

"That won't happen this time if he changes what will happen."

"You can't change what's been written. Sarah Connor spent years teaching her son that there was not future what we make, but she made Sky Net the enemy the minute she tried to explode it. For every time she tried to shut it down, it grew angrier. It's the reason why Jane is what she is."

"I know and that is why everything that happens now is in his hands and Jane's hands."

She sighs, looking more lost than I have ever seen someone, including my brother. "What makes you think they will listen to us?

"Because I have faith in you. I have seen the love that John has for you. It is true love and it is that love that will save him." I say. "You can save him"

Cassandra turns her head. "Sarah isn't watching us, neither is Cameron. I came here on my own, just as you. I have seen your memories, your father didn't send you here. You came here on your own. You are scared, I know but you do not have to be. What we are, what we can do is forge a better path for us and them."

"It is all in your hands." I continue taking her hands. They are warm, and I can feel her trembling. She is more human than half the people I've met, including my mother, and it is that humanity which I know will save John and Kate, and which in turn will save my sister.

"I am not you, I can't do the things you and my dad can do. I don't even know what I am."

"You are Cassandra Connor, daughter of John Connor and Kate Brewster. Your grandfather is one of the most brilliant men in the planet. You can tell him everything, you two can help Kate see the right path and in turn show John a better path. Sometimes the best fight is to stop fighting. John has known nothing but fighting, my mother has known nothing but fighting. In wishing for peace, in fight for it-" I explain "tney made things worse but we can make things better."

"I have faith in you." I repeat and squeeze her hands gently.

She gives me a small smile, takes her hands away from mine, stands up and then walks to where I am kisses my cheek, then leaves.

In every past, my mother raises her son to be humanity's last hope, and my brother carries on her fight, continuing the endless cycle of violence. Not today. Today all that is past. I pay up front and go home where I tell mom what happened.

"You let her go?"

"She is going to tell John where we are. You should have brought her here!"

"Listen mom, she is scared. She doesn't know what she is. John doesn't even know what she is and if she can get to Robert Brewster, then we won't have to worry about John and an army of crazy hybrids who'll hunt us down."

"That's not the point Jacob! You are supposed to be smart about this!"

"I am smart about this, mom. It is you who is not seeing things clearly."

Sarah opened her mouth but Jacob beat her too. "Look mom, I know you want me to be this big military leader but if I am going to start making decisions then I say you should let me and get off my back."

Sarah pressed her lips so tightly together they formed a thin line. She glared at her son. He had no idea what she'd been through. She hadn't seen what she did.

"Trust me on this mom. I know what I am doing."

"Well what do you have to say?" Mom shouts at Cameron.

"Jacob must become his own man. A man cannot grow unless he is allowed to." Cameron says quoting from one of the new books I have been reading.

Mom walks to me and takes the back of my head, clutching my hair. I say nothing as our faces are inches away from each other. "You better be sure about this."

"I am, I trust them."

She scoffed. "That thing will kill you and rip your heart out just like … just like …" She stops. She can't bring herself to say it but I can, feeling emboldened by my latest encounter.

"Just like dad?" I offer and she lets go of my hair then slaps me across the face.

I rub my cheek, my skin turning to its normal color where she hit me.

"Do what you want." She says and goes to her room, closing the door with a loud bang.

"Another happy day with the Connors." I say with a small grin to Cameron who says nothing. "Don't tell me you are going to frown at me too."

"Leaving Cassandra Connor behind is a tactical error. She could trace us back."

"She won't. I trust. I have been inside her mind, she won't betray us. Now are you going to help me transfer some money to Jane or not?"

"Yes." Cameron says, rewriting the sequence of the credit card code that Jane gave me through our mental connection. After she is done, I give it to Jane, then I turn back to Cameron.

"Do you want to go to the movies?" I ask.

"What movie are we watching?" She asks taking mom's keys.

"Whichever is good, it doesn't matter. They are all the same." She doesn't see the importance behind having a good time like I do. I often wonder just how much she still loves John.

Cameron can't admit it, but what is there will always be there. And I feel jealous because Cameron sees me as a friend, as her equal, not as someone she can be with, or she can protect, like John.

I shake these thoughts from my head. The less I think about the future or the past now, the better. I am not going to spend the rest of my days wallowing in self-pity, thinking what-if?

* * *

 

" _It hurts. Mother please it hurts. I can't stand it. Help me." I screamed but my mother didn't come and I yelled for daddy but he wasn't there either. Somebody please help me! I screamed mentally. My bones grew double in size, and I bit my lips as more of my skin fell and regrew._

_After I felt my hair fall and regrow and saw the dust particles (that weren't dust particles at all but the same nanite particles that enabled my dad to shape shift) change my skin again, I relaxed and understood what was going on. The particles in John and Jacob were not separate from them as they were technoganics, but in me since my mother was changed only enough so she could have children; they had to compensate for my weak body so they accelerated my growth._

_"Dad" I sobbed. Why couldn't I reach him like I could reach Jane or Jacob?_

_Nobody came to my rescue. I had to save myself._

_When I finally told my grandfather what was happening, he was shocked and tried to put two and two together but he was unable to, so I told him everything. "How can this be? John Connor has a birth certificate."_

" _Terrorists and NSA can forge birth certificates out of nothing, you think that my daddy wouldn't do the same with free access on the internet?"_

" _Point taken." My grandfather sighed, taking off his hat. "This is just too much. How can … I mean, god my daughter is with that thing!"_

" _My mom knew what she was getting into granddad even. My dad didn't have to do much convincing there, believe me."_

" _I can't believe all this. This stuff doesn't happen in the real world."_

" _Well it is happening and believe me it is very real and if we don't do something it will happen like in countless others." I said, knowing I was sounding like my grandmother but I need to if I was going to convince my grandfather._

" _Even if for the sake of believing you, we do something. My daughter, your mother, won't listen to me."_

" _Yes, she will. I am meeting my uncle today. If he talks some sense unlike Jane, then maybe he can give me the boost I need to give you the boost to talk some sense into mom so she can talk to dad."_

My granddad warned me not to go to my uncle Jacob. As a general he knew the risks and if everything I said was real, he didn't want me taking those risks. As far as he knew, my mom is lost. And perhaps she is, because as I told Uncle Jacob, my mom still exhibits the same qualities of other timelines.

But Jacob said something important that nobody had told me before. "I trust you" and that was the boost I needed to be convinced that something had to be done.

When my parents got home, they were surprised to find their three year old, a twenty year old. I have faith in you, I kept hearing Jacob's words over and over again as my father approached me and touched my face, making sure that I was real.

I can see that he doesn't want to believe that I am his daughter, but at the same time there is excitement that he doesn't have to spend fifteen years teaching me about the right stuff, and put his plans on halt so he can protect me from his mother.

A part of me feels guilty that I am lying to them. But if Jacob's right, then this will all be over. I look at myself in the mirror. I saw my eyes flicker, the same shade of blue my dad's flicker when he becomes a Terminator. Yesterday my hair was wavy and red, now it is curlier and my eyes are bluer than before, but my other features remain the same leaving no doubt who my dad still is.

I am not afraid of doing what is right, it is what comes after. What if Jacob is wrong and my dad decides to go after him if he fails, like he did with his parents? Or worse, what if that made grandma try and kill him again.

I was going to do what I had to, I knew my role and I was going to play it to perfection but I am not going to let anyone come near my dad and hurt him (again).

* * *

 

Kyle got off the truck. His daughter loved to do blog posts and she was angry that her latest –which he thought was very good- didn't get a lot of hits and it made many assholes in his page unsubscribe. If he could talk to any of them, as a parent he would tell them they were idiots for preferring nonsense over well thought out articles.

His daughter was a prodigy. He knew every parent loved saying that about his kid, but she truly was.

Today though, it wasn't just his anger at a few that was making him rail, it was seeing Sarah.

"I thought I told you not to follow me."

"I didn't but our son told me you'd be here."

Goddamn it. That boy and his machinations. He was going to be the death of everyone if he continues with these silly games. "Well you saw me. Now you can leave."

"No, I am not leaving Sarah. You took Jacob and you didn't tell me where you were these nine years. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You damn know well why. You had one chance to go after Jacob and you didn't take it."

"Because I saw … never mind, I am sure your metal friend explained it to you."

"Cameron was there making sure that you didn't do anything stupid. She wasn't going to attack you."

"Yeah, well she seemed pretty hostile to me." Kyle said. "I tried looking for you after I found out about Jacob but Allison-"

"You don't have to tell me." Sarah cut him off, not wanting to hear that woman's name. "I am sure you are living the happy life the other you always wanted."

"Don't start. It's not like that. She makes me happy and we have a daughter and I can't ignore that."

"You really believe that?" She asked with a skeptical voice.

"Yes. I am not going to spend the rest of my life being ruled by destiny like the other me was. I saw what that brought him and personally I am tired of it Sarah."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I want to help you." He said. "I am not interested in you or Cameron, I am here for Jacob. I know what John is trying to do and that Jane is no longer with him. If we work together we can find a way to stop him and stop Jane before things get worse."

"It's not just John we have to worry about." Sarah said, deciding she was going to tell him. Kyle was shocked when he heard it. He had expected she would tell him about fighting Jane because she was so dangerous and he was prepared to answer her with a simple 'you're wrong' but this was something else.

"Why … Why wouldn't you say something?"

"Because! She is dangerous. I know you think you love Allison but you and I are much prisoners of fate as John is."

"Which is why I chose Allison."

"Exactly, why I had more reason not to tell you. Allison Young is with you because she couldn't have you in every other timeline and now that she finally can, she took advantage of your love for me."

"I don't-"

"Do not bullshit me Kyle. The other you did, and look in what mess that got us."

"Tell me about it, I have had to live with it too every day when I visit my parents' graves. It destroyed my life too Sarah. But I made my peace with it. If Jacob believes there is a way to stop this madness then I will follow him."

"Jacob is a boy with his head stuck in his clouds. I tried to teach him but he doesn't want to listen."

"Because he's seen what playing by your rules brought us." I say, louder than intended. Some people in the park turn their heads at us but I give them an apologetic smile. "Jacob has seen a better future and I believe him."

"What if you're wrong? Kyle, my Kyle believed that he could fix things and he ended up taking a shot gun and killing Pops and would've killed me too if I hadn't passed out, making him believe I was dead, then took our children because your mother said that they were the devil."

"That's the past Sarah. They were wrong but Jacob is right. If anyone can stop John it is him and if Jane is what you say she is, then he can make her stop too."

"You and Jacob believe too much in the damn world."

"That is because we have no choice." He told her. "Your son is one of the smartest people in our family, probably the whole lot of us future soldiers. And so far he is the only one with a plan that involves something other than killing. We've spent our whole lives trying to find a way to destroy each other, and so do the machines. Maybe the solution is co-existence."

She barked with laughed. "You really believe we can co-exist with the machines?"

"No, not machines. Beings. You were never one for listening but listen to me now. There is a famous line of Darwin's that got mixed up along with most of his teachings that said that survival belonged to the fittest."

"Yes, us."

"Except that is not how the phrase goes. Darwin said that species evolve and the only way they evolve is through adaption. The species that reproduces itself quicker, survives and if it passes down its better genetic material then the following generations will be stronger to take on their foes. In the future, we died because we didn't know better, because we didn't have the knowledge we have now."

"You are out of your mind. Sky Net doesn't care about evolution, it is going to wipe us out just as it's done before."

"Sky Net doesn't know any better and the other me confirmed its worst fears when it tried to kill Jane and her brother. If Jacob is successful then we can change Jane's objectives."

"And if we can't? Do you think Jacob can do it?" She had seen Jacob take out many people before, some of them people who meant to do them harm by immobilizing them, and others by killing them. But that had been out of necessity. Would he kill his siblings if the occasion called for it?

"He will." Kyle promised her and for a moment Sarah was reminded of her time with Kyle and the kids, when they didn't know anything about Sky Net's rebirth of John's secret plans. 

Ignoring his conscience Kyle leaned forward and kissed the girl of his dreams. He was betraying everything he stood for doing this, but for once he didn't care. Destiny or no destiny, he had fallen in love with his female guardian since he was a kid and he always felt a tinge of jealousy that the older Kyle got what he didn't. Now that she was here, he was not going to miss this opportunity.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more parts to this series! This is the last chapter of Part 7. Part 8 and 9 will be shorter stories but they will continue to have a lot of emphasis on Jane, Jacob, and the originals, John, Kyle and Sarah.  
> It's been a great ride and I thank everyone in the fandom who's been really nice and helped me brainstorm. And I am glad I stumbled on this fandom because there are so many great stories and it is interesting to write about these characters that everyone loves because there is so much going on between them and let's face it, it is fun writing about the dysfunctional Connor/Reese clan.


End file.
